Dolkhola’s turn is half a mile away from the town. After crossing this path, two journalists visited Vogbena Para in the last two successive Fridays. Then they reached there straight from Dolkhola on foot. Following Sodanondo’s instruction, they easily arrived at their desired destination to meet the people of Vogbena. It didn’t take long time. One has to get down at the heart of the town. A path stretched towards the south from the Bazar. The road was not narrow rather its welcoming wide-form tempted passers-by to become so self-motivated that one could reach there even in an unmindful state of mind. It seemed the tree-surrounded trail called everyone to have a hike stroll. Inhabitants, whose eight rooms and nine doors are in the cage, become enthusiastic to go there to explore. It’s hot summer, Chaitra – house of winds was burning and dancing by the wayward sunlight; mid-noon seemed orange- coloured fire – as if it were the conflagration of fiery sunlight. From Dolkhola’s turn one has to pass over 2.5 kilometers through the country road. The track was fascinating as well as mysterious. None has to be anxious to search for the destination; nonetheless you will find yourself to the right track. Sodanondo was standing still at the door with a smile.
‘Have you faced any problem on the way?’
‘No, not at all.’
‘Has the programme started?’
‘It’s about to start. Let’s go there.’
‘Sodanondo.’
‘Yes.’
‘How should I start?’
‘You can ask directly.’- Sodanondo remained calm. ‘Why have you paused? You may ask.’
“Tell something about yourselves – about your caste and creed.’
‘We are neither Hindu, nor Muslim, nor Christian, nor even Buddhist.
We are Korthavoja. Aoulchand is our Incarnation (deity).’
‘Sodanondo, to which school of thought do you belong – Sattoguru, Shohojia or Vagbacharoner Ghar – where?
‘No, brother, we’re neither of them, we are Vogbena.”
‘Where is your goal then? I mean goal of your community.’
‘Humanism and love, the end of our community is the good of mankind. You know the God within us is the same as the God within all human beings. So, there is no reason not to be at peace with all of mankind regardless of how one chooses to recognize their version of the ‘Supreme Being’ or how s/he practices his or her faith. The human soul is important that we believe in nothing other than the true God within us. There is no beauty truer than the beauty of God in the universe that lives within our soul. We long deeply for a union with the divine within. Without any guidance of Guru, the spiritual guide, the emancipation of the soul is not possible. Guru is the descent of a deity. Since God is hidden in the heart of man, and neither preacher, nor any organized religion, will help mankind find Her/Him there. Rather these organized religions stand across the path of the truth, blocking the search. The search for God is one that everyone has to carry out for her/himself. Vogbena focused on the individual and centered on a spiritual quest for God from within – that God lives within each of us; very close to us, so there is hardly any need to call the ‘Supreme Being’ loudly. The Creator is one, and the universe is the expression of Her or His oneness. Therefore, there cannot be any difference between man and man, and a faith and a faith. Performing the rituals is not everything; to know Her/His creation is no less than the prayers.’
It was a L-shaped old house built in mixing brick-dust with lime in water. The houseyard was covered with mats. At one corner of the yard rice and mixed vegetables were being cooked in large cauldrons. Sitting in a front seat, Bijoy Thakur (preceptor) is the eldest brother of Sodanondo, and Nittanondo is their youngest brother. There were two more Thakurs (Preceptor) sitting beside him who joined the ceremony as invited by Spiritual Preceptor. One of them was Shoshichand Mollah’s son, Kalachand Mollah from Khushudanga and other Thakur Uttom Khan’s son Sonthos Kumar Thakur from Talarchar. Korthavoja community has different modes of living and thoughts but here in this part of Bangladesh everybody is Vogbena. Aoulchand, Dulalchand, Bakachand, Sotima – all these ways are known to them. Every school has their own Guru. Here 40/45 houses are the members of Vogbena. They have three Gurus: Bijoy, Aasor, and Sadhon. God is hidden in the heart of man and the attainment of success depends on Guru who helps man find Her/Him there. Maximum disciples follow Bijoy as their Guru. Sodanondo mentioned – ‘That’s my eldest brother Bijoy, he is our idol.’ Hundreds of followers were sitting on mats. At the south corner two journalists were sitting silently and observing minutely. Before sitting there, every male and female was bending her/his head to their Guru Bijoy Thakur in the hope of getting his benediction. There was a crystal drop of tears in Bijoy’s eyes. It seems his eyes were two oceans from where a non-stop flow of water was flowing as if twin streams were running spontaneously from a mountain.
After a few minutes Sodanondo started singing in praise of the Incarnation. This is a special religions programme named ‘Premanushthan, which literally means a programme of Love and Affection Toward Supreme Being. During this part of the programme of singing ‘Love-songs, they were served food twice. Rice and curry during lunch and fruit-meal with dessert in the morning. Vogbena community never eats meat and eggs.
After an hour, during recitation Sodanondo became free. At the time of banquet Sodanondo told – ‘How healthy meal it is! No hot spices are used here.’ ‘Usually Vogbena don’t fall ill. Except their own community they don’t eat at other’s house. Even they don’t visit other cities to avoid eating in hotels.’ Someone asked – ‘Sodanondo, yet anyone could fall ill.’ “Yes, brother – if you have body then there might be sore also. But it will be healed naturally. If it be delayed, then we consider it’s the outcome of sins. One must penance for one’s sins. And you know what does penance mean? It means entering into one’s soul again When we commit sin we are deviated from our soul. So it’s necessary to make amends by re-entering into our soul. One must not consult with doctors or with other traditional physicians. If any Vogbena takes food in the hotels or visits doctors s/he must confess it before our Guru and pay fines for such kind of misdemeanor. Her or his physical and emotional needs would not be attended to even if any Vogbena our society’s law. Illness is the punishment of previous sins. Sin engenders grief. Disease is not our enemy – it can’t be – never be.’
‘But at some stage in our life we may win many enemies.’
‘Yes, perhaps.’
“Then how would you set aside yourselves from enemies?’
As I mentioned earlier that Vogbena never eats meat and eggs so we can endure the torture of enemies. Hitting another human being is considered sin in our community. One must not be struck. We are peace-loving people that embrace all and quarrel with none.’
‘What would happen if anybody of yours becomes criminal?’
‘Vogbenas never become thief, robber, or murderer. They never shed blood of others. Shedding blood is forbidden in our community. Humanism and love…’ Sodanondo stopped. Bijoy’s eyes were full of tears. There was a building of Bijoy’s cousin beside his house. His cousin Bimol works at a bank. Noash was the son of Porijoy, Noash’s son was Sayeed Sorder, Sayeed’s son was Kolim Sorder, Ghodai was the son of Kolim Sorder, Kanai Lal Sorder was Ghodai’s son and Bijoy Thakur’s father was Kanai Lal Sorder.
There is the Monthroghar beside Dohliz. Bijoy’s wife Joshoda, their daughter Asma and someother were busy doing chores. Monthroghar was almost dark yet the smiling faces of the ladies were seen shiny white teeth and gracefulness of their captivating eyes were very lively as well as enchanting. Beside the Monthroghar there were scented flower plants overladen with green leaves and flowers. Surpassing earthly beauty, it seemed Joshoda was the embodiment of Beauty herself. – Looking simply bright-white like a Jasmine flower; her daughter Asma like fresh-reddish Joba. Both of them were busy. From this Council cabinet future Thakur will be selected by Joshoda. Other Thakurs will accompany her at that ritual. Joshoda has the power not only propose but also to select. Who is going to be the next Thakur after Bijoy? Bijoy is only. Stately Joshoda told – ‘meditate and search go beyond your sight as far as you can.’ – It’s not easy to become a Thakur. Where is the Monthroghar? Yet Monthroghar is not all – only the Monthroghar has no significance alone… Where will Joshoda recite mystic and esoteric word? – Women-folk cannot define how it will be determined. Nittanondo was walking absently towards Monthroghar from the west to north. Bijoy is senior to Sodanondo by 10 years and Nittanondo is junior to Sodanondo by another 10 years. Because of the lack of Nittanondo’s knowledge about life, his reputation is at stake in the community. It appears that he lacks wisdom – yet they are not certain about it either. There is a rumour that one of the Vogbena ate mutton soup and Tondhuri in a hotel. During the trial of that person Nittanondo asked, ‘What would happen if one eats beef instead? Will then the punishment be weightier? This stupid and irrelevant question irritated some of them. But some of them explained it another way that Nittanondo’s question was indicative. Behind this inquiry there was a fact – that must not be neglected. From that day on, some people started to avoid him. Nittanondo weeps. But there are no tears in his eyes. He can’t shed tears like Bijoy. His desire to cry is not demonstrative either. No, it is not; devotion is the first step for crying. Sodanondo can. Though it’s not like Bijoy but he sheds tears from his inner soul and he can communicate and transmit. Bijoy is silent. His firmness surpasses even the hill. Sodanondo is steadfast, yet eloquent. In his melodious, clarion voice:
By destroying inherent six vices
One can be Her/His subjugated
At the time of lying down, and even in dreams
In days and nights worship only Her/Him.
Becoming calmer, Sodanondo sings:
Be devoted to completely
Following Her/Him faithfully
Saying Her/His name four times in a lonely place.
You must not indulge in ill-words, evil, ashtray and violence.
Tears from Bijoy’s right eye touch his lips whereas the tears of his lef eye roll down over his nose. Sodanondo counts drops from the right eye. Nittanondo wants to have the drops from the left eye.
Like a diving bird, Sodanondo springs suddenly and immerses himself in the water of Bijoy’s eyes. His mind is restless in extreme anxiety. He is in the state of sinking and floating. From the great deep to the greater deep, he goes as if he were in a roaring deep. He becomes confident about the existence. It is very difficult to cross this turbulent ocean without a good captain who can steer the ship to the shore. This body-bones-flesh so heavy – who can apprehend that someone has made it! It seems that his body is breaking down and re-building at the same time. In this man he feels the presence of that man. Since God created human being in Her/His image, so it is sure that Divinity -is present in Sodanondo. Nature is also a unique creation of Divinity. Sometimes the Creator takes a shape and sometimes S/He is formless. So near yet so far. A wind of change is blowing over him. Unseen spirit has created him so it is sure that same spirit is present in him. He got frightened… that even into the water his body shudders in fear.He becomes tired. He speaks to himself: ‘Only the truth is significant / To cross over the river we need his assistance.’ Then he is drowned at once and converted himself into a water-plant… Devouring the plant, a gray sea-fish is roaming here and there. The plant asks, ‘To whom do you belong to corporeal or to incorporeal (universal Spirit)? The fish replies, ‘I am a fish – born from Bishakha and Chitra’s tears. I am yours.’ Frightened plant asks, ‘Who are you?’
The fish answers, ‘I originated from the water of oceans.’
Plant says, ‘I fall to the ground as a human being – in form of Adam.’ Plant-form Sodanondo is left by the fish to the three-drops of Bijoy’s tears:
Being, Dust, Sorrow. – Sodanondo wants to get down to the fourth drop of Bijoy’s tears. But he cannot and so starts crying loudly. – Sodanondo hasn’t got God yet. It’s not certain that someday he will find Her/Him.
Far from him, Nittanondo descends towards Bijoy’s tears in the left eye. Vogbena community was also anxious about Nittanondo for another reason. He told, ‘Korthavoja has a different school of thoughts; two major ways should be uniformed and made one. Since preceptor Aoulchand had been followed widely at Nodia in Kolkata it was greatly influenced by the orthodox Hinduism either directly or indirectly. Korthavoja of this region intermingled Kawoali (devotional song of the Sufi fraternity) and Kirtton (sort of Hindu religious song in glorification of Radha and Krishna). They are mixed with Khaza Mounuddin Chistee’s love for songs. Vogbena rejoices neither Kawoali nor Kirtton. They believe Sur dwells in soul, where is the expression of it? S/He hides in Supreme Being. Shiveram Mohonti told, ‘You are the devotee, austerely endeavoring to achieve an end. You must be engaged in austere ascetic practices. Sur makes our collective life flawless. Then why should you restrain Sur from flowing? Sur is power. Is it only impartial to benevolence? No, it’s both good and evil. One must have the right to choose, otherwise where is the proof of the thriving of your soul? Is Sur only a thing of Beauty – of Self-possessed? It’s the final stage of restrain and purification.’ – These words fascinated Nittanondo. These words spellbounded Nittanondo. But Vogbena was not impressed and didn’t accept them.
Mohonti sang:
‘Native of Burma, Dutch, Persian Hindu, Muslim
All are created by the same God So this body is one and the same.
Look at all the thirty-six of kinds that
Are known as human being.
If you write the name – ‘human’
They are same, unique and one.’
Sharing that symphony in his heart, Nittanondo immerses himself in to Bijoy’s tears in the left eye. Nittanondo wants to shed tears from his eyes first. Abruptly he finds himself transported in a lonely field sitting under a peepuli beside a river where? He cannot concentrate because of the clamour of human beings and of different animals. Nittanondo hopes that none should discover his devotion. If nature wants to feel, then let it have it. God being God is formless. Because of the nature S/He is formless. That defines one’s beauty how much one can hide. But in case of Nature it is totally opposite. Nature’s beauty becomes evident only when it is expressed. When the evolved being can hide the nakedness of Nature, then s/he is human being, and when nature can see the nakedness of human being; Nature becomes God. Last time when Nittanondo went to the town, he decided not to eat anything. But renting a room in a hotel for 24 hours, he tried to cry for few minutes. Shutting the door of the room he wanted to start crying – but for the red-carpet, green sofa, blue dim-light, gray wall, pink basin of the room, he couldn’t give attention to – he become impatient to cry. At one time when he was in progress in crying, the telephone was ringed and he was asked whether he needed anything. When would he take his meal? If he wouldn’t need such things, then when would they send his desired object? Nittanondo couldn’t stay there long. He came out from the hotel. Madon or Mohan? That arising from tears-separation is Mohan. S/he, who is overwhelmed with emotion, is in the state of Madon. Nittanondo was in an implicit state of ecstasy of Madon. Now Nittanondo jumps to the eyes of Bijoy’s tears with complete devotion. He perceives that he cannot cry rather feels an impulse of mirth of what he has become ashamed and anxious inwardly. What sort of being God is – delight and delight – sweet to full of sweetness. The relationship between God and worshipper is attendant and service provider. God becomes delighted to be revered by the worshipper. Where is Her/His leisure? Where is the exquisite charm? Obhidheyo? The ways to get intending object is Obhidheyo. There would be no fear if you know your destination. Nittanondo knows that not everyone has the right to attend immersing (absorbing in Yoga) in deep meditation. One has to unify one’s mind – taming one’s mind is the competence to can be gained only be a selfless devotee. This knowledge and perception through complete devotion and faith. One can rescue her/himself from the bondage of family life and from six inherent vices. Delight that comes from the communication with soul brings self-realization. Tears of Bijoy’s eyes cause him to rise up and down and sometimes he is sweept away by the waves of Bijoy’s tears. He struggles frantically to keep himself afloat. Though it is agonizing, Nittanondo continues swimming. Being absorbed in loving devotion, he is tossing upon water. This is true devotion-this is religion – rambling lonely towards an unknown destination. No demonstration, yet there is a manifestation of it. No temptation, yet there is glorification. Because of the sunlight, whitish sea-foam turns into pink colour then it shrinks like a candy-floss. Nittanondo feels how tiny he is! Let the path pave the way for traveling and find one’s way! Can one determine who is a wayfarer? How much capability a traveler enjoys selecting the road? One can only guess the predetermined end. But the end is not the end, the end is only the beginning. Nittanondo senses it and says to himself, ‘How insignificant I am before this wide roaring deeps and fiery sands – these high waves like hills as if coiling pythons rolling in front of me. What I am supposed to do – what I am doing. My mind is confused – . Yet O Great Ocean! show me the way. Take me to the shore. Let me see the way out.’ After immense struggling at last, he reaches the shore. In that wide, wide sea-beach, sands stretching as far as Nittanondo’s eyes can see. Nittanondo notices a fig tree is it on this sandy beach? When he goes near to the tree, it says, ‘Born as a manifestation of Lord as Star-tree.’ Learning that, Nittanondo promptly adds, ‘Then I am the dazzling light of the Lord.’ Nittanondo observes – there are lots of flowers in the fig tree, O! no have we ever heard that a fig tree gives flowers! We have to see what never happens. Nittanondo perceives that never happened thing. Nittanondo cannot cross the third drop of Bijoy’s eye. Yes, Rechok, Purbock, Kumbha.
Tears still chock Nittanondo but still then he cannot able to cry. Joshoda remained busy in front of the Monthroghar. Their daughter Asma was observing her father as well as helping her mother. Unending tears were flowing out from Bijoy’s eyes. Asma watched her father’s unceasing crying. Sodanondo’s wife, her aunt Madhuri was standing beside her. Millat, Madhuri’s younger brother was also there. Suddenly looking at the last row Madhuri got frightened. So did Millat. Asma’s red face turned pale. Sodanondo, Nittanondo, Joshoda didn’t notice – but Bijoy became a little bit restless inwardly. Why, he could not find any reason behind his anxiety. Two men were standing at the last row. Apparently they were calm yet their attitude was desperate. It could be realized that they were different. Joshoda looked at Asma. It seemed that Asma turned pale for reason unknown. But Joshoda didn’t let it bother her and again engaged with her works. Guest Thakur Kalachand Mollah started reciting without melody:
O my mind, let’s go to Guru’s Dorbar (court)
Bring my mind to the right track
Acting like a clown and imprisoned in this earthly life;
O soul! One should be absorbed in Creator’s love
Where there is no scope of deception
Restrain your sex-passion and pursue the true path
Then Guru would salvage us
And O follower! If you are not a liar
There is no fear of danger.
Second guest Thakur Sonthuskumar sermonized against – Theft, Pollution of Foods, Coquetry, Drinking Wine, Meat, Lie, Bloodshed. One must abstain from these seven things then s/he could achieve purity of mind. Why? These are enemies of humanistic religion.’
Sonthuskumar’s disciple Motiar told -‘One’s blood should not be shed. Remember, Thakur is the strength. Devotion to Guru is the core thing.” At this moment someone asked Joshoda and she answered:
‘Love mankind, not money
In this man is the main man
Devotion is my parents
Devotion thy name is Guru
Devotion is the heavenly tree that
Generously grants anything one wishes for.’
So Garhosthyo, Vanproshtho, Brahmacharyo, Sannyas, – follow gradually step by step. See you would get everything. What is soul – it has five divisions: Embodied soul – represents “I”, the Supreme Soul as existent in individual creatures. Supreme Spirit – God. Inner Soul, imagined as a bird engaged in the body – Untamed Power. Demon – Inauspicious. Rameshwar – Life Force. It means six inherent vices sex passion, anger, greed, infatuation, vanity, and envy; five elements – earth, air, fire, water, and atmosphere; six Pash, nine Bibhokti, seven Tala, fifty-two fifty-three alleyways. If they are at the branch you have to go to the leaves, if they are at leaves you have to dwell in leaves, if they are at leaves you have to live at veins, if they are at veins you must live in cavity. Your business is to deal with such things. Never involve yourself in bloodshed.’ – Joshoda stopped here. Right at that moment Asma felt giddy. Asma was sixteen – in her menses, almost in the full flush of youth. Though her menstruation was regular but during her period blood-letting too much and it continued for a longer period of time. It was not normal – nevertheless Bijoy and Joshoda didn’t pay attention to. But realizing the grave situation, Madhuri took the affair very seriously and considered it a fatal disease. Vogbena must not visit doctors, it’s a sin. Despite it, Madhuri became very sympathetic to Asma. Looking at Asma, Joshoda told – ‘Go to bed. This type of scorching heat makes one feel giddy.’ Bijoy continued his crying.
There was a banyan tree near Asma’s school. This tree was fallen thrice and grown up each time again. Spending three thousand nine hundred takas, the driver Shaheed built an elevated piece of platform around the banyan tree. This place was the stoppage of lorries. Drivers of the lorries usually took rest here. These vehicles carried coconut oil of an Indian company. Most of the drivers and helpers sat under the banyan tree for taking rest and spending their leisure. This place was situated just next to the boundary wall of the District School. Driver Shaheed built this platform with the intention that the van pullers would sit under the banyan tree in hot summer to protect them from the blazing heat of the burning sun. Usually driver Shaheed didn’t come to this place. Near the pulpit there was a tea stall where various types of social and anti-social people gathered for the fulfillment of different purposes. Eight to ten drivers and helpers taking rest There was also a crowd of young people and old people in front of the tea stall. Leaving the tea stall bench, a weird looking man sat under the banyan tree asked a passerby, ‘Azam, where are you going?’
‘To Bazaar.
‘I need five thousand takas – keep it ready.’
‘When?’ he asked while walking.
‘In this afternoon.’
‘Why in this afternoon? Rather take the money this noon.’ – Azam tried to hide his playful tone under pretentious serious mood.
Then exacting properly his Longhi this odd-looking man stood up. His companion who was sitting beside him asked, ‘Give the money – let me count it, then you can keep it again.’
‘No, you need not count it.’
‘Allow me – it could be fallen from your Longhi.’
‘That wouldn’t be, this money is the income of great labour.’
‘Give me part of it then.’
‘Forget it – all cannot enjoy the blessing of money.’
‘Yet, give me a part of it then.’ – his partner requested him jokingly. Right that moment a young blind man was seen coming riding on a rickshaw. Looking at him, this weird-looking man told, ‘Look the unintelligible game of God. Even five hundred men were nothing to him. But once, at the time of making bomb, it blasted and he became blind. His name is Kana Faroque.’
‘O yes – yes. I heard people saying such thing.’
That weird-looking man shouted, ‘Fa-ro-que.’
After few moments he answered, ‘Ba-ap.
Just at that moment two other persons arrived there and everybody’s attention was arrested by the arrival of that two men.
One of them was Chatake Mosaraff (pigmy sized) another was Der Battery (he is called so since one of his eyes is not normal – it was whitish like the naked part of lychee). They ordered tea for them. They looking wicked and dangerous. Government Girl’s School was situated beside the District School where Asma read in class seven. But physically she was more flourishing than her other friends. That day she didn’t go to school because of the programme arranged at their house. Her dizziness was increasing gradually. Joshoda was still busy with her tasks. Two Journalists were eagerly waiting for the moment when Bijoy would talk. Bijoy was plunged in crying.
Because of the repeated requests of the journalists and invited guests he could not but converse on previous Friday. He told, ‘Being absorbed in love, joy, and longing for the spiritual union with the divine, I want to fabricate my life. The life is a sea of sorrows. A deep wide sea of Misery. Human being must suffer to be wise. Suffering leads to understanding and wisdom cry Sorrow, Sorrow – yet let good prevail. One must not get lost in misleading earthly works. Prosperity is a fickle thing indeed. Our happiest hours are pictures drawn in shadows on the surface of calm water. Then ill-fortune and grief come. In the end, all works turn into futility. Alone to come and lonely to return to the One Spirit. Then why would you engage yourself in love for this transient earth? Through meditation, absolute extinction of individual existence and annihilation of all desires and passion is possible. It is understood the way is very simple and easy, only the idiots make the way sinuous by turning it over and over again. Born-blind, we can’t see that in this man is what is called the ‘man-jewel.’ Restrain of the desires and passions is the way of becoming empty, and then you will see the boat is filled with diamonds. Where is the place for keeping gold then?’ His words were simple as well as mysterious laden with hidden truths. A unique example of mysticism and divinity. The quest for something beyond the material world is present in his speech. All listened to him with complete concentration. – ‘There is no difference between life and death, it’s an ever-changing revolving process – recurring in a cyclic order. S/he, who is not afraid of life and death, can be a true devotee; can discover inner significance of life and death. The truth is indeed: Be clear like the sky, re-erect your body as if it were earth, make your mind as if it were wind, be bountiful like the water, and enlighten the world like the sun; – then one can achieve salvation.’
‘We know both the procedure of marriage and divorce are done in front of Guru in your community. But how would you determine the heir of your property?’ Bijoy answered to the journalist’s query thus: ‘Five lakh (half a million) Korthavojas – who are living at Nodia and here at Dolkhola we all follow the same rule – property is given to son, foster-son and to the family of Guru.’ Bijoy was crying while talking. Suddenly someone asked Bijoy in a hoarse voice, ‘How could a sinner attain salvation?’
‘It’s an expiation of one’s sin of one’s previous life – there are other factors too. You have to rise from the same place from where you have fallen. You have to start searching in a place where you have lost the thing. One has to travel the path of virtue through the womb of sin.’ Tears were rolling up Bijoy’s eyes. Coming there, Joshoda told, ‘Guru is a person, a Sadhak, and Sadhaks are representatives of human beings. The search for God is one which everyone must carry out for her/himself quest for God from your deep within. God lives within each of us. So the soul that lives in all human bodies is God.
One must know what Guru is. This is S/He who steers the limitless. None of us can reach the shore without him. It’s not an easy task to have Her/Him in one’s possession without love, devotion and absolute extinction of Individual existence.’ ‘How can one get rid of sorrow?’ One of the devotees wanted to know. ‘Sorrow is the twin sister of Fate. Sorrow cannot be dispelled by any surge of joy. Sorrow is afraid of acceptance. Sorrow will be straight like wires if you accept it.’
Though they were not traditionally educated in formal institutions, their basic, self-acquired knowledge astonished all. ‘Love?’ ‘Love is a humane form of necessity.’ Love originates from individual heart but it has power to uplift community life.’ ‘Different people have different notions about being alive or about continuing their earthly life, some say it’s the fulfillments of will, some say it’s the slavery (state of being a victim) of fate. Guruma, what’s your idea about it?’
‘Keeping alive means a continuous process of singing in adoration, in each and every way of each thing at any time secretly or openly at the time of working even at one’s leisure.’
When we are awarded for our adoration – when we realize that it’s the outcome of worship – then what to do?’
‘Don’t see with your eyes then you will be charmed. Don’t listen with your ears then you will be overwhelmed – take it with your inhalation then it will be absorbed to your soul.’
An old person asked, ‘What is the most difficult task in this world? What is the most precious thing of this world? And what is the destination of this valuable thing?’
There was a pin-drop silence. Joshoda contemplated for ten minutes. In the midst of her reflection Joshoda was sweating for reasons unknown. She answered, ‘The most difficult task in this world is to free oneself from self-love. The most precious thing is to love and its destination is self-satisfaction.’
After listening to her answer, none could talk nor even move for few minutes. Then slowly they left the place without talking to each other. Today Bijoy hasn’t said anything yet. Sodanondo and Nittanondo are talking to other Thakurs. All of them already have taken their meal. Both the journalists and some of the invited guests have left the place. Bijoy is crying. His followers are looking blankly at him. Joshoda is not that much busy. In front of the Monthroghar Asma asks her mother, ‘Why the soul is immortal?’ Joshoda contemplates for a moment and decides to tell her as she thinks of it. Joshoda whisperingly says, ‘Once a man fell asleep. During that time his soul became thirsty. His soul searched here and there but didn’t find anything. Then it went to another room which was covered with a coconut-shell. After few moments entering where it saw a pitcher, into the room, a man moving away the coconut-shell started pouring water. At that point going inside the pitcher the soul began drinking water. It forgot a time as the mouth of the pitcher to watch out. The soul could not come out so long was closed. And during the time the man didn’t wake up. Thirst of the soul makes the soul immortal. Then in a lower voice Asma asks her mother, ‘After my father, it is certain that uncle Sadonondo is going to be the next Thakur – isn’t it?’ Joshoda gives no answer to her question. But inwardly she becomes proud, realizing her daughter’s intelligence. The tears of Bijoy wet Joshoda. Sometimes she is also crying. She believes that she is the companion of a great man. She stares at the forehead of Bijoy. It’s very wide. Does one’s fortune lie in one’s forehead? Joshoda has read a lot of books and discussed the subject with many Thakurs. And comprehended that good fortune is nothing but a way which makes a person fit. Fortune builds as well as helps the unfit. S/He who attains fortunate becomes fit. She doesn’t want to think more. Rather this wailing of Bijoy is very important: ‘This is not simple tears only.’ Joshoda contemplates: ‘Sacred as you are, wearing water-garment falling from the source of water within. You are the embodiment of the divine in disguise of the image of God – you live affectionately in the very source of water. This tear is the juice of the Soma plant – that the earth drinks. The Person who wishes for another’s welfare lives secretly in the core of the water for the benefit of others. This mind always wants to be delighted by flowing through Beauty, Knowledge, Speech, Touch – then the prudent becomes aware of the extinction of her/his individual existence and all desires restraining mind from enjoying the earthy pleasure. One who is agitated with passion and burning from desire cannot remain firm. Forsaking the true path, restless people hanker after their own happiness and prospect, and pray and mediate for the enjoyment of worldly things. This earthly life is handed down as an unbearable punishment. And our position is like that person who is lost in a forest – and doesn’t know where the true path is that person in this earth.’ Joshoda wished – ‘The Creator is one and we are just like is second to none. S/He is an amorphous ultimate entity but is omnipresent in the region on heaven and in the region on earth who gives us food and drink like Manna. And who immersed her/ imself in finding the true path, s/he must pay attention to our hymns of praise. Nobody’s life must be like the skinny heron that lives in a lake where there is no fish.
When the two journalists and some others guests went away, Sodanondo and Nittanondo sat beside Bijoy. After taking their meal all the followers and worshippers started talking divided in small groups about different issues. Those two persons were coming forward making their way pushing others aside. Bijoy stared at them. Sodanondo and Nittanondo were guarding their brother like two soldiers of army. Joshoda was counting the collected money that was given for the salvation from sins. Madhuri, Millat and Asma were standing at a standstill-as if they were waiting that something could happen. There was no sign of resistance in their face whatever will happen it seemed that they will accept. Ready to accept anything – they have to – nothing to do- no way. It’s their custom. Chatake Mosaraff and Der Battery directly come forward to Bijoy Mohon. This Chatake Mosaraff was as dwarfish as one can be and Der Battery was as tall as a palm tree. Sodanondo clamped together his hands. Straightly looking at them Bijoy Mohon asked, ‘Do you want to say something?’
Advancing two steps ahead Chatake Mosaraff told, ‘You take up the role of a Thakur of the community, are collecting money as fine, yet don’t you know the news of your own household? Or was it you behind the scene – who sent Asma, I mean your daughter to… …’
Abruptly Chatake Mosaraff hushed. He hesitated. It seemed that he couldn’t able to say anything about Asma straightforwardly. A deep sigh came out from Bijoy’s navel.
‘I don’t know – don’t know anything. If something happens to the family beyond my comprehension – that responsibility is also mine. What could happen to Asma for which I have to face these two scoundrels – in
this degradable way.’ Bijoy Mohan asked, ‘Mosaraff, tell me what you want to say.’
Der Battery pointed, ‘Are you telling lies? If you don’t know then it is more dangerous, people would say the rule is just reverse in the Thakur’s house. Then you could no longer be the Thakur. And if you did it by yourself then you may come to a settlement – give taka we wouldn’t tell anything to anyone about the issue. ‘What happened?’ Being stunned Joshoda wanted to know.
Whisperingly Mosaraff warned, ‘Don’t shout. If you shout, it will create danger for you. I think if he doesn’t – you would know. Don’t tell a lie. Give us ten thousand takas we will leave this place silently.’ Sodanondo boldly asked, ‘What happened to Asma? Why we have to pay such huge amount of money?’ ‘Don’t pretend’ – Der Battery alleged, you must take care whereabouts of your nephew. Ten thousand takas isn’t that much – you guys have been collecting a large amount of money as fines from the sinners for many years. ‘Fines’ – the word gave a blow as it was breaking bones of Bijoy: ‘No, Bijoy Mohon you might be a Thakur but you are not the judge. The verdict that you have pronounced for the fault of the followers, and asked them to give fines – all these are for the betterment of collective interest – all grant it as a social norm. Now this norm is broken by one of the members of my family – therefore I have to pay a fine also. It’s true despite the fact that it is ugly and mean.’ In a trembling voice Sodanondo asked, ‘Where has Asma been? What has she done?’ ‘Don’t play anymore. If we announce it in public, then you guys have to rub your noses on the ground and will be forced to leave this place. After that, you will realize what happened.’
Standing in front of Joshoda, Der Battery advised, ‘If you don’t know, why don’t you ask your daughter? Give the keys of the locker. If you have a problem, then give the money in two installments.’
‘Yes’, Bijoy Mohan reflects and silently admits – this is certainly a mischievous game of fate! Is there anything to do? Piercing through the canopy he could see the smiling face of the sky. There is a picture of Sri Chaitanno Deb. Smiling face – celestial bright. Looking at Sodanondo he could realize that he is trembling. Nittanondo remains quite and calm – he could not read his mind. Perhaps he is baffled. May be he is contemplating something. Stammering, he pronounces,
‘Tricky game of fate. Nemesis that none can alter.’
‘Give the money.’
‘Money.’ – Listening the word Bijoy Mohon shrieked.
Where will he get money? Money of the reprieve fund is not his money.
How would he make them realize? Their attitude is also very unruly.
“Where would I get so much money?’ Bijoy asked them in a cool voice. ‘If you don’t able to give altogether, give it in two installments – today just give us half of the money.’
To prevent them, Joshoda inquired, ‘We don’t have that much money. And why should we give money? What she has done -we need to learn it first.’
Both Chatake Mosaraff and Der Battery got furious. It’s very typical of them. Somehow they feel that they are empowered to do such things. They are standing on the basis of our collective weak points in our society. They have become powerful since we never bother to protest. For many days… they are not checked … they have exploited that chance and their roots have entered deep inside our civilization and has corrupted the very core. Even they forget to believe that what they are doing is crime. Bijoy’s tears slowly leak towards his soul. He cannot decide what to do in such situation. Chatake Mosaraff and Der Battery became agitated. Anything could be done. Bijoy’s body trembled at this. When the other two Thakurs and some followers were moving forward, Bijoy Mohon made a sign to go behind and not to come.
“We don’t want to know anything, just gather the money and give it to us…. Bijoy looked at Asma who was hanging down her head in shame. Madhuri’s face seemed pale. Millat was at a loss to determine what to do. Joshoda was perplexed. She was looking at her daughter’s face but unable to bring herself to ask Asma what she had done.
Bijoy Mohon was calculating which would be appropriate to do – what would he tell? – Should he talk to them going inside the room? No, it wouldn’t be fair conversing with them now. If I sit with them to negotiate then they would consider that I am positive and yield – and everything would go in favour of them. Rather have patience Bijoy Mohon at least for few minutes – all these thoughts bubbled into his mind when he was sitting there.
we ‘Okay. If you want to give less than ten thousand – then give it have no objection’ – Der Battery further added, ‘Let us allow to go inside the Monthroghar and have a talk with Asma – you would see that she will admit the truth.’
Joshoda was feeling dizzy. She couldn’t move.
Tears welled up in Sadanondo’s eyes. Bijoy Mohon thought how lonesome he is. – But who has given the burden of the world to his shoulder? If he knows it is his own responsibility – there is nothing to fear. He has to face the challenge. Actually he is afraid of honour. Five hundred followers follow him – they honour him as their idol. Among them he has become a living legend. ‘Oh! Now I am standing in a hell – fire – hellish fire is thriving here.’
Der Battery started going towards the Montroghar where Asma was standing. At one side of the council cabinet there were three hundred bricks and behind it there was a shed above the well – in front of the well-shed there was a way to go to the Montroghar – Der Battery was walking through that way. In this morning Joshoda poured water on these bricks that draw water by sucking like a thirsty child. Joshoda heard the crying of the bricks so she poured some more mugs of water. Asma was trembling in fear. Right at that moment Joshoda asked Asma to tell what happened. Asma informed, ‘I went to a Doctor with Aunt Madhuri and Uncle Millat, and brought medicine for me.’
The situation is unbearable as if someone exploded a bomb. Bijoy felt the bomb blew his legs away – could not feel the existence of his legs that he might collapse any time. Whereas restless Joshoda, elevating fore part of her neck was moving to and fro aimlessly.
No. Bijoy didn’t fall down. He collected himself quickly. He could still think. – Yes, Asma has done a great wrong. Yet it is not known to him not even to Joshoda – who is going to believe it? He is the father, guardian of the family – moreover he is the idol of the community. Yes, all responsibility is his. Would he pay fine – can’t think…
After few moments he takes the decision – he will resign from his post of the Thakur. It’s a reasonable fine – who will be the next Thakur after him – certainly Sodanondo. It’s true that Madhuri is the focal person behind this crime yet there is no doubt that each and every one will select Sodanondo as their next Thakur: ‘No. I must not waste time.’ – Without making any farther delay, he wants to declare his resignation from the post. And after few moments he declared his resignation in a low voice.
Pindrop silence around, Bijoy Mohon became surprised. There was no reaction. No, they accept it, this is normal – he has done a candid deed – isn’t it the right duty? He comprehends so far he was the leader but never exercises supreme authority – was the master yet didn’t make people feel his mastery by being overbearing and insolent. If he has exercised that domination in a lordly style, then he would not be afraid before these two scoundrels. He silently utters: ‘Wicked design of fate.’ He feels dizzy right at that moment. Very acutely indeed.
Der Battery reached before Joshoda, Madhuri hold off Asma’s hand. Der Battery in mocking tone started to recite to taunt them:
Aoul, Baoul, Korthavoja, Nera,
Dorbesh, Shaai, Shohojia, Sokhivedi,
Smarto, Jat Goshai,
Otibori, Churadhari,
Gourango-Nagri –
Tota told, never establish
Friendship with these thirteen communities.
Ghoshai Netraronjon of Ram Krishna Mission taught me this’ – Der Battery came very near to Joshoda. Madhuri was very excited. It was she who took Asma to the doctors. Madhuri took the matter seriously. Doctor told that Asma was suffering from Menorozia. Medication of progesterone hormone was a must for her. It was a complex disease also. But since she was unmarried there was a possibility only three feet away. health after her marriage. Der Battery is now onlu three feet away. Madhuri screamed seeking help from Sadanondo. Everybody sitting on mats became alert at this. Sadanondo ran to catch Der Battery. At that time Chotake Mosaraff running towards the shed of the well and targeting all with his bore revolver, he warned ‘Action, don’t move’ Sadanondo was kicked by Der Battery and fell down to the ground. It was very painful and saying ‘O! Mago’ he moved again to catch Der Battery. But he didn’t get any scope for hitting Der Battery; rather Der Battery gave a blow to his chick. It was hard to bear for Sadanondo and everything became dark in front of him. Der Battery took the chance and repeatedly hit him. When Sadanondo collapsed totally Der Battery was walking towards the locker of money heroically.
Sadanondo was getting unconscious – Vogbena…. didn’t believe in blood shedding. No. That’s all – I cannot cross the limit – here is the end of my action. I don’t know any other way to check them, – I am defeated. – Fallen to the ground. No sooner had Sadanondo fallen to the ground than Nittanondo jumped to do something but watching him Chotake Mosaraff cried, ‘Be aware.’
Nittanondo targeted Der Battery absorbing that Chotake Mosaraff ran after Nittanondo. Nittanondo gave Der Battery a kick as a result both of them fell down and fought relentlessly.
This situation baffled Bijoy Mohon completely. He became perplexed Pregnant cloud gathered in his eyes and faces ready to run through–.
Madhuri and some other followers were engaged in pouring water to Sadanondo’s head. Getting frightened on the other hand, most of the worshippers went to one corner of the yard. Utter confusion prevailed. Followers had some different advices to urge – they started up to and fro in restless excitement. They smelt a fear of danger. One or two went to the Police Station at Dolkhola. But when both Chotake Mosaraff and Der Battery attacked together Nittanondo took shelter at the corner beside the Monthroghar where there was a large heap of dry stalk of hay. He was calculating how to attack them and examining their movement. He wanted to wait for few minutes to generate pressure upon their nerves.
But when he saw that there was a weapon like a dagger in the hand of Der Battery who was in the top part of the heap of dry stalk of hay. His knife aimed at Nittanondo’s neck. Though he was able to save himself from his knife yet it created an injury at his left hand.
Collecting all his force, Nittanondo suddenly attacked Chotake Mosaraff who at once tried to press the trigger but before that Nittanondo grabbed the hand and the revolver within a twinkle of an eye.
Bijoy Mohon felt empty and looked blankly. At this sun-lighted noon, it seemed darkness tried to pervade all over. Different thoughts bubbled into his mind: – Where is light, darkness like a black cobra coils everywhere – but nothing is seen – nothing is to be realized – this portends difficult time ahead – expressing dark forboding – O! what an unbearable hot summer – burning everything, yet he is not combustible.
What he should do now? He is feeling like nothing – has someone thrown him in the midst of nothingness – nothing to do – nowhere to go – ‘Bijoy Mohon! you are tied to nothingness and to incarnating it.’
This emptiness of his is not related to the doctrine of the non-existence of any spirit either supreme or human. Yet he is thinking about the doctrine of the non-existence. Suddenly he tries to recollect the continuation of the succession of great men who not only walked but also shown the true path for mankind: Mohavir was born in 599 B.C. and died in 527 B.C. Then Buddha was born in 588 B.C., died in 508 B.C. After him Ramanondo – when he was born – could not remember, Bijoy forgot, Ramanondo’s disciple was Kabir who was born six hundred years ago from now. Kabir’s disciple and son named Komol, other two followers were Gopal and Dhormodas. Dhormodas was born in 1430 and died in 1510; Sri Chaitonno was born in 1525.
Dormodas’s follower Jomal, Jomal’s disciple Porimol, Porimol’s disciple Dadu (Dawood) who was born in 1544 and died in 1603, Emperor Akbar met Dadu in 1586. Then Dadu’s disciple Sondor Das whose disciple was Govindho Das and Poltu Das was follower of Govindho Das. Among them Khaza Mouniddin Chistee, who was liberally and widely accepted by the people of all sects of the Indian sub-continent, lived from 1142 to 1236. Gora Chand’s follower was Aoulchand – who is the principal idol of the Korthavoja community of Bijoy Mohon. Aoulchand’s disciple was Ramshoron Pal; Ramshoron’s wife was Sharoswati or Sotima. Ramshoron’s disciple was Dulalchand, Dulalchand’s disciple was Ishwar Chand – who is next to Ishwar Chand – isn’t it Bijoy Mohon – he wants to consider but cannot think of his name after Ishwar Chand. Fie, fie on me – how insignificant I am lots of great Gurus other than me – it’s not fair. He has resigned from the position of Guru. To change the subject – he again starts calculating-300 years have passed from Kabir to Dawood, it took another 300 years reaching from Dawood to Aoulchand. After 100 years of Aoulchand, Lalon was born in 1774 and passed away on the 17th of October 1890. there are
At that very moment Bijoy heard that someone fired two shots. In the midst of his rellections the dying cry of Chotake Mosaraff and Der Battery was heard. He trembled. A few of them went behind the Monthroghar. Der Battery was shot at one of his eyes and Chotake Mosaraff at his kidney. They were shot dead. The knife and revolver were lying on the ground. Nittanondo looked blankly. Whether Bijoy Mohon was anxious or not, couldn’t be understood. He wanted to understand the doctrine of non-existence – Guru told – if the grass is pressed than they can’t bloom and developed. But when they are free and get enough light and air then again it creates another type of repeated pressurer- so it is another kind of captivity even in this seemingly free situation. In that case where does it become free? – What one could say is Shohojia (innate) – in fact how much one is free, how open s/he is – that type of liberty can be called religion. He is the Guru – he knows that he must mould himself in such a way with the intention that his disciples could get scope to develop them – Guru must not be either tyrannical or imposing. So far he has followed this teaching. He believes in this idea that’s why he never imposes any pressure upon his followers – he knows – if one cannot get scope developing her/his personality, s/he cannot go beyond that personality. Only those who have personality know what it means to want to escape from continual extinction of personality or self-sacrifice A deep sigh comes out. – Yes, he has done the right job! If he hasn’t resigned – he wouldn’t be able to bring himself up for trial. There is no satisfaction of the soul to be an imposing Guru. – No, there is no glory. Where is the significance of the doctrine of the non-existence or of Shohojia? Once taking a handful leaves in his hand, Lord Buddha told, ‘Look at the leaves in my grip, it means that I have just this little bit of truth in my possession. You gather your truth from your own experience in your own way within your possession- I can be your fellow explorer, your associate but I cannot impose anything upon you.’
Bijoy Mohon observed, Sodanondo was returning back to his consciousness. His exhausted face seemed remorseful. Madhuri was busy pouring water on her husband’s head. Joshoda was sitting beside the Monthroghar in an objective mood. She feels a stranger that she is in an irremediable exile in this world.
No matter what his fore-ancestors has given the definition of the doctrine of non-existence, now Bijoy Mohon feels – maybe firstly it is pang when one wants to pull apart everything, secondly agony and agony made one crying and when this tears become fiery- steam one burst into wailing and cry one’s heart out – only then one comprehends what nothingness is. It seems true to Bijoy Mohon.
He never accepts anything without questions. After analyzing and deep thinking he always has taken his decision hitherto. Only today he accepts this thought without much contemplation. The crowd becomes thick. Someone informs that the police are coming from the Dolkhola Police Station. Looking at a flower tree, Asma is reflecting on whether the flowers are Dolonchapa or Bhuichapa – at her early age Joshoda asked her not to pluck flowers because the mother of the flower cries. Some can cry but other cannot. Uncle Nittanondo cannot cry. Yet there are some who can cry all day and night. At that point in time Asma is also contemplating – are they safe now? She doesn’t know. She stares at the people who are in a run – it is not that they are afraid rather they are surprised. Neighbours are coming to observe what happened.
out there) Joshoda feels – O! what a hot sun – everything is burning outside. – Couldn’t there be anything except heated wind? Where is S/He Tired and helpless, Sodanondo looked around. Joshoda again immerges in contemplation. – ‘Where is S/He, where? For how long she would continue her search for Her/Him?’ From her childhood she believed that God is a male person. That’s why he couldn’t disclose her mind to God. She never could share her secrets. But when she preaches to the followers, she corrects her wrong notions as well. ‘Mother, O Mother.’ – Asma was calling her but she didn’t response. She was sitting as she sat before staring at the door.
At that juncture, Bijoy is contemplating that now he is like a bird that is set free from a net. As a Thakur he tries to do many things.
None can alter impurity to purity. Time may show but cannot alter, what shall be. This world is impermanent and an enigmatic mirage. Waiting for the final is the divine contemplation. He prays silently – Let’s have a happy life and we should not be hostile to one another. Above everything, the truth is human being, and on top of this truth, there is nothing. Human being is bedecked with jewels and we must know it. The human life is utterly useless if we don’t know that the Absolute Being is in man/woman.
A tempest arose which scttered Bijoy Mohon’s mind. Afflicted with grief tears were welling out from his eyes, – Lalon affirms, ‘I am the first without a beginning I am the living life of the living, as Lord Krishna; Baloram of Meherpur couldn’t let it go and boasts – I am then before than that of them… Bijoy Mohon stammers the forest wind this mind of mine talking like Aleklata.’ He walked ‘among towards Joshoda while Jhosoda was busy collecting a whitish sacred thread from an urn. All was hushed into the silence of awe. Nittanondo was seen standing over the corpses of Chotake Mosaraff and Der Battery The crowd was observing analytically the two dead bodies. Their face conveyed the pang from which they suffered before death. Other Thakurs were discussing that nothing would come as of out of nothing. But whatever was the reason Korthavoja never wants to shed blood under no circumstances. Some were talking about the consequences of the murder to reach a decision. In the inaccessible bowels of the earth that are roaming from one hemisphere to another hemisphere – those snakes or the emperor of snakes – royal pythons hold the earth and keep balance of the diurnal rotation of the earth century after century. Only for once in their rigid observance of rules and regulations, they sang to break the invisible shackles.
As if the melody of that song driven by the south wind – messenger of change has arrived in this earth. Those winds of change blow on Joshoda that produce a sad but sweet music.
‘Joshoda’ – Bijoy Mohon called his wife. His tone is grave yet intimate.
‘Yes.’
‘I have been doing it for many years.’
‘I know.’
‘I resigned today.’ – tears were welling up in Bijoy’s eyes.
‘I know. I heard.’ Standing up she added, ‘Observing my true devotion you have given this sacred thread to me – thread of initiation – the thread of mysterious formula that you taught me at initiation so that I can extinct my individual existence. Now time has come to hand over it.’
‘Yes. I think none will raise an objection about Sodanondo.’
‘No.’ in a cold firm voice Joshoda uttered, ‘Nittanondo will get it. And this is my proposal.’
As if Bijoy Mohon couldn’t absorb it, he soliloquizes, ‘What? Is it true or wrong?’
Joshoda told, ‘Yes, I am talking about Nittanondo.’ -‘Let’s go -we must put it around Nittanondo’s hand before the arrival of the police. Come, hurry up.’
Bijoy Mohon stepped forward one pace. At first Joshoda then Bijoy Mohon – after him Sodanondo… following them a long procession was moving towards Nittanondo. Tears were welling up Nittanondo’s eyes. He was a killer of two men. By killing his entity twice from both sides – as well as destroying the evil instinct within him and wickedness of Chotake Mosaraff and Der Battery, he became aware of nothingness deep inside his heart and that made him able to cry incessantly. Originally published in the Short Stories of Selim Morshed, edited by Sofiul Azam. Publised by Ulukhar in 2009.
About The Author
